In case you haven't been near a television or the internet or radio or homing pigeon or parrot...BRITNEY SPEARS IS IN REHAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Run for the hills, lock up the kids, save up on canned food because this is huge.
We are also putting our injured soldiers in Third World hospitals. Men and women who have bravely served in our horrible wars are getting hurt every day. Now when they turn to us for help, our government ships them off to hospitals that don't work.
But that isn't important, BRITNEY SPEARS IS IN REHAB!!!!!!!!
Oh wait, isn't that Anna Nicole Smith's rotting corpse? OMG!!!
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